Hi!  Happy Saturday!!  I just got home from the gym.  Ugh not one of my best workouts, felt like my body was in slow motion but at least its done!

Tonight I am finally going on a second date with Nick.  We were supposed to go out last Saturday night but my friend had a baby and  I will always pick babies over boys.  We are going out for Sushi.  I am a little nervous but excited.  How many dates does it take to feel something?  Am I not giving it a chance?  Do I expect to feel stuff too soon?  Any advice would be greatly appreciated!

Last night I met up with two friends from high school that are now married and have two kids.  They seem to have  a really good relationship.  I am happy for them and its something that I would like to have one day.  Not sure about the kids but the relationship part:)

My brother got engaged this week.  He is ten years younger than me and everyone keeps asking me if I’m okay…Like I am the old single sister.  Maybe I am reading too much into it.  I am very happy for them.  They have been together about 6 years.  She was actually one of my best friends first.  I think they will be very happy together!

I’ll report back after Date #2!  I’m excited !

Well first date #4 is in the books!  I was expecting it to go better.  It wasn’t bad but it wasn’t amazing.  I think I had higher hopes for this first date because I met him in person and felt a connection.  It wasn’t a complete cold internet set up date. Nick and I met at a local bar and had a few drinks.  We were planning to meet at 730. He texted me at 715ish and said he was going to be a bit early, which I love because I can’t stand when people are late.  Once he sat down he texted me where he was sitting which I thought was sweet.  I hate walking into a place looking for someone and feeling goofy.  The conversation flowed pretty well but its hard to tell.  I didn’t feel an immediate spark or connection, like I had the first time i met him.  But I’ve felt the spark before with exes and obviously those relationships have ended so maybe I shouldn’t rely on that feeling?!

Speaking of exes, I spoke with mine on Thursday and all the sparks and weird feelings were there.  WHY?!?!?!  I want them gone!!  We put each other through hell and there should be nothing left!  We have been apart for about a year.  We haven’t spoken in a few months.  Speaking to him is BAD!  It makes me think all the What Ifs but that isn’t going to get me anywhere!

Anyway back to Nick.  At the end of the night we did this awkward hug in the parking lot.  I texted him once I got home saying that I had fun and he responded that he did too and that he would like to hang out again sometime.  That was 5 days ago.  Since then we have texted but he hasn’t asked me out again.  Am I supposed to ask him? How does this work? I am so clueless!

My first Bumble date was fun!  But he wasn’t for me.  I met him in my town at a local bar.  I was meeting a friend for dinner after and I only had about 1 hour or so to meet him.  I thought it was the perfect set up because I wasn’t stuck there for too long if he sucked.  When I got there he seemed to be slightly tipsy, I figured he was nervous.  But he drank very quickly.  That is not something that I need in my life with the struggles that I have had with over consuming alcohol and trying to moderate.  He was very fun!  He suggested that my friend come meet us and have a drink with us.  So she did and then we ended up hanging out all night. But we both ended up drinking too much and that is not the kind of relationship I want going forward.  I want someone who can have a few drinks and stop and who doesn’t need alcohol.  These are the habits that I am trying to relearn and I would like a partner that already does this.

The next day he texted me asking to go to dinner.  At first I thought it would be okay to give him another chance.  I thought maybe he wouldn’t be nervous and neither of us would drink as much on the second date.  But after thinking about it I thought that was a bad idea and our texting just kind of fizzled out.  he didn’t try too hard and I just let it go.  About 3 weeks late he asked if I was still interested in dinner.  I said sure and we had planned on going out on Sunday night.  On Friday I was out with friends and he invited him to meet for a drink, I said that I couldn’t but if he came to our area to stop by.  He never responded and then I didn’t hear from him until 6pm on sunday.  It was strange.  I didn’t respond.

Dating is helping me learn what I do and don’t want in a partner.  I want someone that makes an effort to see me and follows through on date plans.