Prosperity Game Day 4

Today I get another deposit into my imaginary bank account of $4,000!  I have been thinking all day today about how I would spend this.  The trip to Thailand that I purchased with my $3,000 deposit made me really happy.  I thought about it and got into a really good feeling vibration – that is the point of the game!  To make yourself feel really really good and to know what it is you really want.  I have always thought that I am more of an experience person than a stuff person.  I would much rather go on a trip or get a massage or spend money on someone else than buy items.  When I was younger my Dad would tidy up the house and he would always throw things out and it would make me so mad but now I get it!  I get a high from donating items or discarding things that are no longer useful.

It just hit me!!  I would use the $4,000 to purchase plane tickets to NYC for December 15th.  I would buy tickets for my Dad and my brother.  NYC at Christmas time is absolutely amazing!!  When I was younger I would go with my Dad for a day into the city and it was magical.  We would go see the tree at Rockefeller Center.  I was always amazed by how big it is!  We would go see the Rockettets in the Christmas Spectacular on Broadway.  One year we went into Trump Towers to look at the shops and we actually saw Donald Trump!  This was probably in 1996 – before The Apprentice and way before he ran for office.  I actually got his autograph on a crumpled up Dunkin Donuts napkin – wish I still had it!  My brother was too young to experience any of this so I would love to be able to take him too.  I would rent a cute Air BNB in Soho with beautiful brick walls inside.  It would be a lot of fun and a great bonding experience for my family!

Prosperity Game Day 3

I missed a few days of the Prosperity Game and couldn’t decide if I should skip ahead or continue in sequential order, I decided to go in sequential order.  Today $3,000 was deposited into my imaginary bank account.  I would purchase a ticket to Thailand.  I just did a quick search and a plane ticket to Bangkok would be about $1000 – that’s actually much cheaper than I thought it would be!  I spend the rest of the money on a beautiful resort in the jungle.  My room would be spacious and have lovely jungle and water views.  It would have a big bath tub.  The resort would offer yoga classes, meditations and a spa.  I would book an excursion to see elephants and to visit a refuge camp to volunteer.  I would meet an amazing man at the resort and we would share a few meals together.  It would be a trip that I would never forget.

Made it 9 Days

Well I made it 9 days without drinking and then drank.  It wasn’t even fun.  I’m not sure why I did it.  I wasn’t craving it.  I thought it would be a nice treat on a Saturday night.  Drink wine, watch Netflix, eat chocolate and just be comfy.  But it didn’t really work out that way.  I had one glass and felt kind of queasy.  Maybe that should have been my sign to stop drinking but I didn’t.  I ended up drinking about 3 glasses of wine.  I felt fuzzy and not in complete control and I didn’t like it.  In the last few weeks I have come to enjoy the feeling of being in control.  I don’t regret it or feel guilty.  I was in my own home and safe and not drunk in public making a fool of myself.  I didn’t wake up with a hangover or a huge bar receipt.

But I did learn something, the idea of wine to relax is just an idea.  I think I would have been more relaxed last night had I not drank.

So today is Day 1 again…however there is no hangover, shame, regret, guilt or embarrassment.  I am going to view last night as a learning experience.

Day 5

Just realized the post I wrote yesterday is titled Day 3 – it was actually Day 4…I am more into this than I thought!!

Today was an easy day.  I had no cravings or desire to drink.  I went to the gym and felt great in the workout, typically monday workouts are rough from binging over the weekend.  It felt good to sail through the workout and not feel like dying!  Or making promises to my body that I wouldn’t over do it ever again if I could just get through the workout.

Ive been counting macros on and off for a few months.  I have started tracking again.  I am on day 3 and am doing well.  I always screwed up before because I would factor in 1-2 drinks for the day but would never stick to that!  I would always drink more than I intended too.  I think tracking will give me something else to focus on right now.

I am trying to fill my life with more happy, fun things so I don’t feel deprived or bored.  I think I drank a lot when I was bored or lonely.  Boredom I can combat but loneliness is something that I am going to have to learn to deal with.  I’m not very good with feelings!  I was in a 10 year relationship where feelings were thought of as a weakness, so I spent a lot of time hiding my feelings and trying to stuff them down or use alcohol to not feel anything.  Looking back that should have been a sign the relationship wasn’t healthy but I was naive.  And in love.  Love makes you deal with weird shit.

I hope I have more easy days like today!  I’m going to meditate and then finish reading Big Magic by Elizabeth GIlbert. Peace!

Day 3

Well I just reread some of my earlier posts and so many are Day 1s of not drinking.  You know the first day when you are hungover and full of shame.  And then it stops.  There aren’t many Day 2, 3 or 4 posts.  With time the hangover goes away and the guilt subsides, that’s when I forget how bad it is for me! Then I find myself drinking again and then end up exactly where I don’t want to be.  Its a horrible cycle and the fact that I can’t beat it makes me feel like a failure.  Well today is Day 4 of no drinking.  I have made it a bit farther this time.  And its Sunday so I made it through the weekend! Well kinda…Its 4:45 and I just finished meal prepping and laundry and all that stuff.  Just sat down to read and relax.  This is when I would normally open a bottle of wine.  If I had one I would have opened it.  But I will not go to the store to buy something that is so toxic for me.

I went to dinner on Friday night with a friend and she had one glass of wine, I had water.  I overate at dinner and stopped on the way home and bought a container of ice cream.  I don’t want to substitute food for alcohol.  I want to find out why I have this compulsion to over do it.  So that is what I am going to try to figure out!

 

 

The Prosperity Game Day 2

$2,000 was deposited into my imaginary bank account today!  In real life if I came across an extra $2,000 I would add it to my Emergency Fund because I had to dip into that this month for an Emergency. (Exactly why its there!) But I think I am supposed to spend the money because more is always coming.  So, I would use this money to pay off my Dads car loan.  The last 10 years have been rough for my Dad emotionally and financially. I know he only has a few more payments left on his car and I would love to be able to pay it off for him.  It would give me such happiness to know that he is taken care of.  This game is fun!!

The Prosperity Game Day 1

I recently read Ask and It Is Given by Esther and Jerry Hicks and loved the book!  Its all about the Law of Attraction and how to get it to work for you.  They have 22 different exercises to raise your vibration.  The higher your vibration the better!  You can only attract things that are on the same vibration as you.  One of the exercises or games is called The Prosperity Game.  Here is what you do

  • Establish an imaginary checking account
  • On Day 1, $1,000 is deposited into your checking account, on Day 2, $2,000 and so on
  • Write out a check or checks each day spending the money on something you would enjoy
  • Think about the item and get that good feeling
  • Try to play daily to expand your imagination

 

Ok so today I will spend my $1,000 on a massage.  My body feels tense and I know this will help.  I will opt for the 90 minute massage.  ($150)  After that I will go get my car washed.  ($20)  After that I will call a friend and we will plan a trip to Siesta Key.  I will use the rest of the money to book our hotel room and pay for the gas to get there.  ($830)

That feels good!  And was fun!  Try it.  The point is to have fun!  And not hoard money because you know more is coming tomorrow and an even greater amount is coming tomorrow.  It forces you to trust in the universe!

Date #2

Hi!  Happy Saturday!!  I just got home from the gym.  Ugh not one of my best workouts, felt like my body was in slow motion but at least its done!

Tonight I am finally going on a second date with Nick.  We were supposed to go out last Saturday night but my friend had a baby and  I will always pick babies over boys.  We are going out for Sushi.  I am a little nervous but excited.  How many dates does it take to feel something?  Am I not giving it a chance?  Do I expect to feel stuff too soon?  Any advice would be greatly appreciated!

Last night I met up with two friends from high school that are now married and have two kids.  They seem to have  a really good relationship.  I am happy for them and its something that I would like to have one day.  Not sure about the kids but the relationship part:)

My brother got engaged this week.  He is ten years younger than me and everyone keeps asking me if I’m okay…Like I am the old single sister.  Maybe I am reading too much into it.  I am very happy for them.  They have been together about 6 years.  She was actually one of my best friends first.  I think they will be very happy together!

I’ll report back after Date #2!  I’m excited !

Life

Good Morning!  Its Sunday morning and sunny and just a beautiful day!  I have no plans and am just going to go with the flow and see where the day takes me!  I see lots of coffee and reading in my near future.  Oh and it is National Ice Cream Day so I will be celebrating with ice cream too.  Ice cream is one of my favorite foods!

I haven’t been on any dates recently.  But there is a new member at my gym that is very cute!  He is older than me, about 15 years older…but he doesn’t look it.  I haven’t even talked to him so I am definitely just admiring from afar at this time!  New members at my gym have to go into a special intro class for the first 4 weeks to learn all the movements.  He just finished that last week so now he will be in the normal classes, hoping to run into him and see what happens.  He is a Michigan boy – they seem to be my weakness.

I was supposed to go on my second date with Nick last night but I cancelled because my friend had her baby.  Babies will always trump boys!  She invited me to the hospital to visit and I just couldn’t resist.  Holding a fresh brand new baby is such a happy thing.  She is absolutely perfect and they should be heading home today.  I texted Nick last night asking to reschedule and he hasn’t responded.  Maybe hes pissed? I’ll keep you posted on that situation!

Over the last 6 months I have gained about 8-10lbs.  I kept thinking it would fall off and my body weight would return to its previous norm, but that is not happening!  I have been counting macros on and off but know that I need to stick to it if I want to see results.  But I struggle.  I will do great for breakfast, lunch and a snack and then someone will ask if I want to meet for dinner or go grab a drink and then I throw off the entire day.  If I know I am meeting someone ahead of time I will save my fat and carbs for later and make sure my earlier meals are protein heavy so I hit that number.  I don’t want to become a hermit and skip all outings but I also want to achieve my goals.  This is my struggle!  Anyone else have this issue?  I think I need to not be so all or nothing, if I am slightly off on the numbers its still better than nothing.  I get to wrapped up in trying to do it perfectly or not bothering at all.  I am meeting a friend for dinner tonight so I will be eating mostly lean protein and veggies til tonight.  Will save most of my fat and carbs for dinner.

Well I am off to finish a New Earth by Eckhart Tolle, its at least my third time reading it.  I rarely reread books but I find that I learn more and more each time I read this book and come to understand it and myself better.  Maybe I am finally becoming more conscious….

Have a great day!!!

 

 

Date #4 Recap

Well first date #4 is in the books!  I was expecting it to go better.  It wasn’t bad but it wasn’t amazing.  I think I had higher hopes for this first date because I met him in person and felt a connection.  It wasn’t a complete cold internet set up date. Nick and I met at a local bar and had a few drinks.  We were planning to meet at 730. He texted me at 715ish and said he was going to be a bit early, which I love because I can’t stand when people are late.  Once he sat down he texted me where he was sitting which I thought was sweet.  I hate walking into a place looking for someone and feeling goofy.  The conversation flowed pretty well but its hard to tell.  I didn’t feel an immediate spark or connection, like I had the first time i met him.  But I’ve felt the spark before with exes and obviously those relationships have ended so maybe I shouldn’t rely on that feeling?!

Speaking of exes, I spoke with mine on Thursday and all the sparks and weird feelings were there.  WHY?!?!?!  I want them gone!!  We put each other through hell and there should be nothing left!  We have been apart for about a year.  We haven’t spoken in a few months.  Speaking to him is BAD!  It makes me think all the What Ifs but that isn’t going to get me anywhere!

Anyway back to Nick.  At the end of the night we did this awkward hug in the parking lot.  I texted him once I got home saying that I had fun and he responded that he did too and that he would like to hang out again sometime.  That was 5 days ago.  Since then we have texted but he hasn’t asked me out again.  Am I supposed to ask him? How does this work? I am so clueless!