I did it again. Blacked out from alcohol. How many times have I promised myself that I would never do that again? I am so disappointed in myself. I am making bad decisions and eventually something really bad will happen to me. I may get a DUI, or end up going home with someone I don’t know or who knows what?! I am not a college kid. I am a mature adult and I am responsible in all other areas of my life.
And the worst part is I met a cute guy Nick on Saturday and he probably thinks I am a complete idiot! I don’t even know if I gave him my number, I”m assuming he didn’t want it after my sloppy appearance. Ugh. The shame I am feeling is intense. I have been wanting to meet someone naturally without using dating apps and blew this chance.
Do I completely stop drinking? Do I allow myself a two drink limit? 1 drink an hour? These are all things that I have thought of in the past but never stick to them because I think I have it under control. But I obviously don’t.
I am meeting friends on Friday night for dinner and of course DRINKS. Do I sip water? Do I give myself limits? I wish I could moderate like everyone else can. I don’t know why that is so difficult for me.
This week I am going to meditate and pray. I am in therapy and she said I need to learn to feel things and be more aware. So that is what I am going to try to do! I came across a quote today that definitely spoke to me – “Your life is a result of your choices. If you don’t like your life, it’s time to make some better choices.” I put the quote as the screen saver on my phone so I will see it often and remember to make better choices!